HOW I GOT HERE

Since I was a child, I’ve always felt that deep within each of us lies something uniquely loving and powerful, but often hidden, afraid to emerge. Despite outward behaviors like resentment, intolerance, judgment, or disdain, I’ve always sensed that these reactions are learned or conditioned, not inherent. I believe there’s an innate goodness in everyone, and that this goodness represents our true potential.

Growing up in the early 60s under the care of Benedictine nuns of the Catholic Church, I observed how the "Sisters of Faith" concealed themselves behind their veils and habits. I spent years in a boarding school where children were separated from their parents and raised by nuns. We never talked about our loneliness or the sense of separation we all felt, even though it was always there. I came to see the world as a place of hiding—adults hiding from adults, children hiding from children. And I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why was everyone hiding, and what were we hiding from?”

Even as a child, I somehow knew that beneath all the layers of our suppressed fears, there was a tender longing waiting to be felt. I could sense the depth of the true self that others seemed to have forgotten. I understood our soul’s almost desperate need to express its natural joy and, even more importantly, to experience the freedom that joy could bring into the world. I recognized that within this lay the key to our highest potential.

I couldn’t explain how I knew this as a young child, nor could I articulate it at the time. Despite the sadness I quietly observed through my own isolation and deep introversion, I held faith in something extraordinary. I believed there was something genuine and delicately vulnerable within each of us, a secret yearning to be seen and acknowledged in every single person.

You might think it was just a young girl’s desire to believe in fantasy and love; a naive child’s dream of a fairytale world filled with magic and kindness. But growing up in poverty, I saw firsthand the deep injustices that poverty consciousness imposed and how the lack of resources bred fear in countless ways, regardless of age, race, or gender. The stark contrast between poverty and prosperity was glaringly evident throughout the bustling city of Chicago. I realized that we were all allowing our fearful emotions to run wild, creating unnecessary struggles in our lives.

Through this emotionally blind-sided existence, I found it essential to tap into an inner power to truly transform my life experience. Without realizing it, I began seeking a deeper connection with my TRUE SELF and exploring ways to overcome the sense of lack that fuels suffering and fear. My personal journey became a quest to access that SOURCE free from fear, and without even knowing it, I started talking to the Divine constantly.

THE Lesson

As an introverted child, I often sensed that many adults were trapped in self-imposed emotional prisons. I observed my mother’s silent inner struggles and felt disconnected from her shadowed self. I couldn’t comprehend the sadness, negativity, and depression she hid behind, so I distanced myself emotionally and physically. I wasn’t curious about her relentless sadness or constant worry. I avoided what I called the “ugly energy” I felt from her, intentionally making her a stranger in my life. It felt natural, even necessary, to watch her from a detached and unemotional distance. I didn’t hate or blame her as the years passed; I simply grew indifferent. She became the unfamiliar woman who called herself my mother.

For years, I avoided speaking to my weary and life-worn mother. I went out of my way to steer clear of her, as well as other adults and children who felt unsafe or unapproachable. I thought this distance allowed me to be myself. But as an adult, after years of personal growth, I came to realize that by distancing myself from my mom and others unlike me, I had unknowingly built a prison of “unloved” and “unworthy” feelings. This emotionless prison tricked me into believing I could feel safe within its walls.

From a young age, I instinctively felt the need to do good in the world, but I also realized early on that staying under the radar was essential. I convinced myself that keeping small and unseen, like wearing an invisibility cloak, would help me maintain an idealistic sense of optimism. By staying unnoticed, I could stay cocooned and safe from a world full of despair and illusions that felt so distant to me. I decided that feeling numb and indifferent would allow me to hold on to hopeful thoughts, away from the chaos I observed. For many adult years, I chose to remain "naive" for my own peace of mind.

As a quiet, shy, and reserved girl, I learned to ignore my mother’s emotional mask of sadness yet in doing so, I failed to recognize my own mask of detachment. Thankfully, years before my mother passed, life presented opportunities for us to heal. Through real-life lessons, we found chances for love, broke through our barriers, and overcame our pride.

My mother and I finally found our true selves reflected in each other's smiles. We discovered a safe and loving friendship built on accepting our differences, and we forgave the overwhelming fear that had driven us apart from the start. We realized we were just two women learning from each other along the way, understanding that love heals all and keeps us safe. With my mom's final breath, we both knew the peace of mutual acceptance and forgiveness.

THE Gift

Every lesson comes with it a gift. Life is rich with transformative potential if we trust that each lesson is meant to bring blessings that nurture both the heart and mind. My connection to "Spirit" began early when I was growing up in a Catholic boarding school, sheltered from the outside world. As a young girl, I secretly harbored a crush on Jesus, imagining him as a kind of superhero.

I was a little embarrassed to admit that I thought Jesus was the most handsome man who ever lived. This secret affection stayed with me well into adulthood, not because of faith or religion, but out of a deep, unconditional love. As a lonely child, I often imagined what it would be like to be married to Jesus. I even wore a ring for years, pretending I was his wife—keeping it a secret from the nuns, who wore rings symbolizing their devotion and marriage to God. I still remember the shock I felt when I first read, outside of the Bible, that Mary Magdalene and Christ might have shared a deep, intimate love and been married.

Because of my secret love affair, I found myself developing a Christ Consciousness. Through this, I gained a strong conviction to see life optimistically, believe in the goodness of humanity, and trust in the possibility of miraculous healing. It made me deeply want to emulate what Jesus could do. Some might say that my loneliness and isolation led to an idealized view of the super-ego self, but honestly, it didn’t matter why I believed in the possibility of creating healing miracles.

What mattered most was that it inspired a profound desire in me to be good, loving, and kind. It also sparked an insatiable curiosity to dive into every metaphysical topic I could find—alchemy, miracle faith healing, near-death experiences—you name it, I wanted to explore it all! After years of exploring transpersonal psychology, hypnotherapy, shamanism, energy healing, and metaphysical thought, I deepened my belief in miracles as a genuine reality.

One day, I hope to write a book that reveals how we can connect to the Source and create miracles, just as Jesus taught. I’ve realized how essential it is for us to break free from the emotional, mental, and physical prisons we unknowingly perpetuate. Our fear—of everything and everyone—has held humanity back from experiencing true transformation and miracles. Reflecting on my childhood, I now understand my natural tendency to remain "naively distant" from the world.

We are all moving toward a profound truth, realizing that we are powerful beings capable of transforming every fear-based condition on this evolving planet. I truly believe that everyone who has chosen to remain in this physical reality at this time has an important role in shaping a new reality. Our mission is to transform back into our true selves, to remember who we truly are, and to rediscover our real potential.

My mission is to help people reconnect with their powerful hearts, live up to their full potential, and transform our earth into a true paradise once again. I am deeply committed to my work, and "Spirit Source" knows it. I believe only the "big players" in life will find me—those who refuse to play small or remain hidden in fear. Life has given us important lessons to rediscover our strength, and through finding that strength, miracles happen, and fear and pain are healed. I trust we can step into this reality together as one.

Gratefully,

Brenda Rodriguez, M.A., CHT, and Shamanic Healer with Source

MY Mission

To actively engage in a transcended world that embraces peace and harmony, while remaining open and willing to continuously "adjust into love."

What I’ve Achieved

• B.A. in Child Development - San Jose State University 1994

• M.A. in Counseling & Psychology - Santa Clara University 2000

• Certified Hypnotherapist - Twin Lakes College - 2001

• Taught 500hr. Master Hypnotherapy Coursework 2003-2007

• Reiki Master training 2005

• 3 years advanced Shamanic Training 2007-2010

• Shamanic Practitioner, Intuitive and Visionary, Vibrational Healer

• ONGOING STUDIES: Energy Psychology, Vibrational Medicine, Theta-Healing, Cranio-sacral and Somatic-Emotional Release Therapy, Enneagram Training, Tapping, & EDR (energy directed release), TRE Certified Coach, Breathwork Certified Coach.